new art: Nicky Endres!!

say hello to my Nicky!!

Nicky Endres surprised me this morning
with a portrait!!
They have created
many
many
many
images for me over the years!!

artist's interview: NICK ENDRES

Part Japanese pop star and part Shakespearean villain, flashing a winsome smile and sporting a handful of tattoos, this atypical young man has more than just talent up his sleeves. His engaging personality and quirky charm combined with his Midwestern work ethic is bound to make him a phenomenon. Other stunning attributes include his hella kissable lips, his fluffy Libran flotation devices (?!), and his communicative boldness! introducing ... a best friend and talented artist, Nicky Endressssssssssss! 

kelly: Nicholas! i remember when we first met. you were ninja fighting someone in Ormsby Hall. i was like, "who is that hot weirdo who needs so much attention? we should be friends!" from there, we did all sorts of naughty stuff together, like take drugs, play with boobies, eat Thai food, and get married. wild times. talk to me about your memories of our early friendship. tell our readers about the importance of triangles and soul-mate connections. NICK: Kelly Shaw ... You know, it is considerably difficult for me to remember a time before we were friends. It's kind of like you've always just ... been there! Ha ha ha ha! and I do totally love to be the center of attention. But it's not because I am a narcissist; it's just a talent I was born with. I know you're laughing wildly along with me. this is gonna be a fun interview. But enough about me. Kelly Shaw. Your unabashed emotional sensitivity and your acute spiritual awareness were just some of the characteristics I immediately loved about you. I cannot remember what you first said to me, or what you were first wearing, but i remember your big blue eyes and your platinum blonde hair and I just kind of immediately decided that you were brilliant. Call it love at first sight. You have always had a talent for being both subtle and direct in your communication ... and also simultaneously absurd and poetically lucid in so much of what you do. You are at once the strangest, craziest woman I have ever met, and also one of the most centered, wise, and unassuming. You are so dynamic and generous and honest and curious ... I thought all of these things within a moment of meeting you, and (wow) a decade later (like, WOW!) those things have not changed much at all. On the subject of friendship, well ... I am a loner by nature. I require a minimum of 60% of my life to be enjoyed in solitude. I am also a bit of a misanthrope, but really treasure a brilliant individual when I meet one. And I am not quite so cynical as to fail to recognize that brilliance is actually not quite as rare as we sometimes think. Or maybe I have just been lucky in that I have many brilliant friends! Who can say, really -- even compliments are judgments. In any case, up to the moment in my life when I met you, I would not say that my social life was expansive. I mean, I'm remarkably sociable for someone who prefers to be alone, but I had had only a very few very close friends. When we met, there was a kind of instant connection, and sometime not too long after, you referred to me as your "forever friend" and I remember thinking that was cute and kind of silly because in my mind it was kind of just a given. But I knew what you meant and I dug it ... and you know, that is another thing: you and I are very different people, with very different methods in navigating life. And yet, we kind of speak this psychic-poetry language that bypasses conventional words and just kind of transmits "meaning" ... and I really hate to structure my description of that in that way because it sounds like such science fiction, but I think it is a special part of our friendship worth mentioning. Even when we disagree, we still "get" one another. Of course, it did take some time to really get to know one another, but for the most part, the initial connection was immediate. Another product of our psychic-spiritual friendship has been a strong attraction to the number three, and I guess like the witches of old, we were captivated by the idea of a third friend in our tight-knit circle. Or triangle, more appropriately. That third person changed depending on who was currently enrolled at our University, or who was studying off campus, or who was the newest piece of brilliance to transfer in ... Ha ha ha!!! OMG! I am Jaclyn Smith and you are Cheryl Ladd. Jaclyn Smith was in every season of Charlie's Angels, and Cheryl Ladd was in all but one -- remember, you took a break off campus for that year -- and sometimes we had a Kate Jackson, but then she left, and we had a Shelley Hack, or a Tanya Roberts ... gosh what a silly analogy, but so appropriate! Anyhow, what I really came to respect about a triangle friendship was (and of course this is incredibly practical, coming from me) that the grouping combinations of all three friends were so situation-friendly, especially for us, being independent people who also really love close friendships. There were less politics and competition, cuz there was always a third energy to play diplomat to the other two ... if one person wanted to go do their own thing, the remaining two would still have one another as an option if they did want to do something together. If one person was performing or whatever, the other two could support and it would really feel like a family. And for my part, I learned a lot about diplomacy -- how to be a good friend to two different people, even in cases of competing interests. It was the very first time I ever felt like part of a social group. And we were kind of popular, in our own way! That was fun. And we kind of each had a role to play in the triangle; our personalities sometimes happened to fall into classical motifs referencing the number three -- the one that comes to mind is that of the Fates or of the cycle of life: inspiration/creation, maintenance/maturation, wisdom/destruction. I think we each kind of discovered ourselves by engaging these themes as components of our personal connection to one another and to ourselves. Eventually, triangles came to symbolize magic and strength and transformation and beauty. But you know, if I have to be really honest about it, I must admit that I sub-consciously assumed that our triangle always featured you, me, and the guest star of the episode. You were always my constant. You and I have a way of complementing one another and kind of just cosmically balancing out our various forms of crazy!

kelly: you know i am super-proud of you for following your dream. you’ve had a dream for a long long time, you’ve held onto it, you’ve indulged it, and you hold fast like a golden bulldog. what was it like to leave Wisconsin for Los Angeles? tell me why L.A. is the perfect fit for you as an artist. NICK: You did such a good job summing that up, love! Well, leaving Wisco for L.A. was an adventure to be sure, but a really lovely one. I remember calling my mom from my mobile as I was driving on the 10 into LA, and I said joyfully, "I'm home!" I had never visited Los Angeles before that. I'd never even been west of Minneapolis. But I knew I was where I was supposed to be. It wasn't hope, it wasn't desperation, it was just ... destiny, I guess. I was just supposed to be in L.A. And five years later, I still feel the same way. I just love it here. I mean, L.A. is everything you hear it is, both the good and the bad. Most of it is pretty true, for better or for worse. But all things considered, it is a beautiful place to live, and it has so much opportunity, especially for creative professionals such as myself. I mean, for actors, it's kind of the only place on earth you can really make a career. Other markets have fantastic opportunities to be sure, but nowhere else is as expansive as L.A. Professionally, for me there were two options: New York City or Los Angeles. Easy choice: it SNOWS in NYC...

kelly: your accomplishments in acting are plentiful. give our readers a lil list of appearances you’ve made on t.v. and film. any favorite experiences in this way? are you working on anything independently these days? NICK: I love that you consider my resume to be plentiful! It's all just marketing to make it look as A-list as possible, even if it is like... G-list. The entertainment industry is highly competitive in this day and age and the industry is evolving rapidly, largely in part due to the rapid advancements in technology and the changing expectations of viewers. To be honest, I am lucky to have worked at all, statistically speaking -- I mean, my industry is over-saturated with people just like me. But don't get me wrong, I don't suck. I won't be so audacious to declare that I'm a brilliant actor, but I am talented and I have a "look" and I'm professional, so when I am fortunate enough to book, I typically do a good job and those I work with enjoy working with me. And really, that's all you can ask for. As for a favorite experience... I remember when I co-starred on Pushing Daisies. It was my first time on a high-profile television series and I was so thrilled when I got my own Star Wagon -- those are the brand-name trailers that we use as dressing rooms. And even more thrilled when I discovered that the studio actually staffed regular stand-ins for both the regulars and guest cast. Now, when you're working on lower-budget projects you have more technical responsibilities, one being to stand in to help set camera and lights and stuff. So when I was informed that my stand in was going to be doing whatever this and that, I was like, "What?! I have a STAND-IN?!" don't get me wrong. I love all aspects of making films and television, and I don't mind standing in; I was just accustomed to working as a stand-in for myself. I felt like such a big deal when I was told to sit and relax in one of those director-style chairs while they set up the shots using my stand-in! Oh, and I just LOVE to do action sequences. I love to get punched and shot and strangled and stuff. My favorite moment doing action scenes is when the director calls "cut," and then the crew ask me if I'm okay because they genuinely thought maybe a stunt or fall or whatever went wrong and I really hurt myself. Luckily, I've never REALLY been injured, but to make it look like I did means we sold the hit. And that is really cool. But don't get me wrong, I am a trained martial artist and it's always safety first!

kelly: who are you in love with now and why? NICK: Me. It is not narcissism, but a healthy self-love. I am my first priority. This makes me a shitty boyfriend, however -- at least in the conventional sense. I reject the idea that love must be confined to a singular person or singular object. Every interpersonal connection I make is special in its own way, as each individual is unique. My philosophy is simple: be honest, be respectful, be thankful, and do not make promises! I do not believe there is a template for a perfect romantic relationship. Love is expansive, not confining. Relationships, for me, are too political; Love however, is remarkably simple and genuine. But if I HAD to choose just one person to "be in love with," it would be Anderson Cooper, the Silver Fox. Because he is beautiful AND smart!

kelly: i would like to know your 6 favorites fruits and 5 favorite veggies, please. NICK: In no particular order, I love: apples, pineapples, mangoes, red grapes, bananas, and strawberries ... as for veggies: broccoli, carrots, spinach ... are potatoes veggies? and peanuts are legumes. and legume is "vegetable" in french. so peanuts. peanut butter, actually.

kelly: i think it is really neat that you are multi-talented. you are an incredible henna artist, a talented reader of auras and tarot, a maker of beautiful books, cards, tattoo designs, and graphic art. how do these aforementioned creative skills feed your spirit and mouth? are you making money in L.A. with these ventures? NICK: I am SO grateful to be multi-talented and to have had a great University education (thank you Mom and Dad!). I am a naturally creative person who gets restless easily. It is very difficult for me to be happy in a lifestyle that is too routine. I am of course comforted by a sense of security, and I hope one day to have more financial flexibility and freedom. Something I learned very quickly after moving to L.A. is that every experience is an opportunity, and that you can sell anything if someone will pay for it. Los Angeles is a very commercial city -- in addition to being a major market/port for the USA and for the world, the entrepreneurial energy here is abounding, and there exists a kind of encouragement for innovative ideas and for business-minded creativity. In terms of an acting career in Los Angeles, the conventional wisdom has been (and to a large degree, continues to be) that a career in entertainment and having any other career is mutually exclusive. As an actor, you kind of have to be available ALL THE TIME -- because every audition is an opportunity to book a job. And auditions happen when they happen. You show up or you do not show up. For every one actor who can't make it, there's at least 10 who are rearranging their LIVES to make a 5-minute appointment. It is highly competitive, and there is no financial payoff until you book an actual job and have a contract, work the job, and wait for payroll to cut you a check. It is a really inconsistent and unpredictable business, so one must be prepared for those realities before committing to such a lifestyle. Because of this randomness in scheduling, it is difficult to hold down a traditional 9a-5p. Many actors also possess a mindset that they will never be a successful consistently-working actor if they invest too much energy into a non-acting side career. I had this mindset for a while until I had the benefit of managing a theatre for four years, during which time I met and dealt with these "consistently-working actors" who were now acting teachers and coaches, trying to make a living between acting jobs by doing the only thing they thought they could do outside of acting: teach acting. And these folks have spouses and babies and mortgages and cars, which are difficult to afford if you are only a D or C list actor. There simply are not enough simple acting jobs out there for anyone to really make an "American Dream" type living unless you are A list or B list and/or have a regular gig (like a television show) or a large paycheck (like from a major studio feature). Something I should also mention is that being an actor is essentially like being self-employed or having your own small business. The expenses you incur just trying to get an audition can very easily cost you more than you will make from the job, should you even book it -- especially if you're not already established. Some advice a professional actor gave me before I moved to LA was very accurate: "Think of anything you could do for a living and be happy. If you can think of anything other than acting, then go do that other thing." I could not think of any other thing, at the time. But after 5 years here, my perspective has matured. I now call myself a Freelance Creative Professional, and it is my goal to master as many random skills as I can market, professional acting being just one of many. I do creative and artistic work as well as tech/computer work, and I also do entertainment/hospitality stuff. I am blessed with being both talented and a very fast learner, so I am very fortunate to have many choices and opportunities. I also have rather low minimum requirements to be happy, which helps financially. My #1 rule is: don't buy it if you can make it. #2 rule: everything is useful. #3 rule: good health and hygiene = happiness; everything else is just luxury.

kelly: how many puppies will you own someday? what kind? names? why do you love puppies so much? how are puppies and boys alike? NICK: I will have two miniature schnauzer puppies. They will be named "Puppy" and "Doggie" because that's what I'd end up calling them anyhow. Puppies are my kryptonite! I think they are the epitome of CUTE. I am a dog person rather than a cat person (despite how many people say that *I* have the personality of a cat.) I love dogs because of their desire to be a part of a team. They want to know their place. They want to know the rules. They want to fulfill their responsibilities. They know nothing but to live in the moment. I have a supervisor/manager personality and am best suited to such professional positions, so I also happen to make a good pack leader. Although I am a dog lover, I do not really sentimentalize them or anthropomorphize them. I love them because they are dogs. And dogs tend to like me immediately, too. Recently, I met a very large dog who was very sweet and I thought, mmm... maybe I should get one miniature schnauzer and one giant schnauzer and call the little one "Puppy" and the big one "Pony" cuz it would be big enough to ride. Not that I would ride it, of course, but it seems ridiculous and adorable, so that is reason enough for me. As for how boys and puppies are alike ... both humans and dogs cannot help their nature. I'm more forgiving of dogs, I think, because they do not rationalize excuses the way humans do.

kelly: where would you like to honeymoon with me? do you think i’m hot, baby? NICK: Australia comes to mind first. And of course I think you're hot -- and a lot of other adjectives!

kelly: Nicholas, talk to me about some of your ultimate aspirations in this lifetime. what are you working toward? what comes? what is? NICK: Sometimes I fear that I am not ambitious enough because I refuse to specifically define my life goals. I do have daydreams of being a celebrity of sorts. I am good with popularity, and I think I could positively contribute to society as someone who garners a lot of public interest. It sounds silly to me to claim that I would be a good "role model," because there are plenty of things about myself I would definitely not encourage others to embody! But in all honesty, I do think that if I ever did have the benefit of being in the limelight, I would use the opportunity responsibly, and hopefully promote something constructive. HOW this daydream may become fulfilled is up for grabs. I love acting and would love to have a serious, consistent job doing what I love. I am also writing a book. The literary and publishing world is an industry I am still learning about, but creative writing has always been a strength of mine, and I figure I should use it if I was lucky enough to be born with it. In any case, in my most unabashed fantasies, I am a celebrity who is regarded for his talent, uniqueness, and attitude. And, as every famous and/or wealthy person should do -- for either (both) practical or (and) altruistic reasons -- I've also already chosen my area of humanitarianism: education. If I weren't a freelance creative professional, I would probably have chosen a career in the improvement of education -- first here in the USA, and then in other areas of the world.

kelly: you are a self-proclaimed gaysian misanthrope. tell us more, please. NICK: "Gaysian" started out as a derogatory homophobic-slash-racist slur ... but I thought it was cute in spite of its intentions. And um, it is kind of, like, well... accurate. I am gay and I am Asian. And I like a good portmanteau. However, just to clarify, I use "gaysian" as a tongue-in-cheek kind of comedy bit; it is not something I seriously incorporate as part of my identity. Misanthrope, on the other hand ... yes, I kind of am. It's not that I hate all people, but that I despise so much of human nature itself. I am fundamentally mistrustful and suspicious of people because we are all so human. We are fragile, weak, lazy, greedy, and cowardly. I look at all of humanity's lowest common denominators. But don't get me wrong, I'm not really so bleak. I also recognize and celebrate the brilliance of humanity -- our resourcefulness and ingenuity, our capacity for love, our noble natures and the profound ways in which we connect to one another and to ourselves ... humanity is also quite beautiful. I say I am misanthropic because I assume that all people are capable of the worst of their natures ... but I do still remain incredibly open to witnessing individuals becoming more than their most base components. I may have disdain for humanity as a general concept, but I treasure and celebrate individual people. Many sociologists contend that misanthropy is a result or expression of an individual's hatred of himself or of his own nature. I do not disagree. I recognize my own faults and weaknesses and vindictiveness and selfishness, etc. but I work so very diligently at living my life beautifully, in spite of those things, that I find I have very little patience or tolerance for other people who do not work as hard as I do -- work as hard to be their personal best. I always return shopping carts to designated areas instead of leaving them in the parking lot. I admit when I am wrong and my apologies are genuine. I investigate myself and challenge myself to learn and to grow. I remain open to things that are foreign to me and things that make me uncomfortable. I take responsibility for my actions and do not victimize myself. I try to locate the owner of a lost possession. I do not depend on other people to give me a self-esteem ... these are qualities I admire in other people, qualities I want to live in my own life, qualities I do not believe are common to all of humanity. I do not suffer fools gladly. I suffer them only so much as to think I could learn something from them. I'm not about to go out and try to change people who are different from me, or try to convert those who do not agree with me. But I must admit to a general pessimistic outlook on the most general concept of humanity and of human nature. I may not be all that much better, but damn it, I try to be.

kelly: get magical for a few minutes, love. name 3 things that ease your heart and free your mind. name 3 things that help you to relax. name 3 musicians you love. name your top 3 reasons for loving me. name your top 3 reasons for loving yourself. (giggles!!) NICK: Things that ease my heart and free my mind: dark chocolate, fresh air, and sunshine. Things that help me relax: lavender, making lists, and talking. Three musicians I love: Nancy Wilson, Regina Spektor, Jason Mraz. Top three reasons for loving you: you're brilliant, you teach me about myself, your huge capacity for love (which is both wonderful to be a recipient of, and also inspires me to be more like you.) Top three reasons for loving myself: I'm brilliant, I'm open, I'm growing.

check out Nicky HERE.