|*embellished by me*|
... some stream-of-consciousness thoughts (from today) around *the feel$, identity, my inner*life.* ... "at the forefront of july, $PIRIT proclaimed 2 me, 'take it easy this month.' my to-do lists have hardly been touched, & i'm finally ... kinda*almost surrendered 2 diggin' spirit's direction, giggle!! it's so important 2 have self-care time. 2 not push so hard that u burn out, *but* i recognize that it's still a part of my work ~ 2 accept when i need plenty of space from people, places, public, order. all i want is nature. my cats. nothing on my calendar. ... & 2 not be all 'achievement achievement achievement' // 'what am i doing with my life?' i have needed space 2 integrate this month, 2 anticipate, 2 mourn, 2 be me ... all the messy*gorg pieces of her ... 2 accept that i have this strand of sadness almost always present inside of me, & i don't reject it ~ it's so very real ~ reminds me of how deeply i feel, of how amazing & challenging it is 2 empathize @ the levels i do. having said all of these things, which r true 4 me, i still prefer sunshine, glitter, butterflies, dark*chocolate, etc. over *the ouch* ... but goodness me, i am me i am me i am me & i am beyond me too. learning surrender. still learning forgiveness. learning 2 trust my boundaries, my kick*ass*super*strong*intuition*bordering*on*psychic*prowess ... learning 2 not care so much about who likes me, who doesn't, who understands me, does not. accepting that i am lovely & wise in the same moments i am doubtful, honest, aching, & ugly. these depths are not 4 the faint of heart; my heart is not faint ... it pulses like a LOUD golden motor, yo. it just does." #artistslife fotos: J-Art Photography de la artista, Kelly Shaw Willman, ©.