Recover Podcast w/ Sierra Frost

kelly shaw willman
foto: Jesse Artavia
location: Playa Negra en el Caribe Sur de Costa Rica

Sierra Frost, queen of the $lay

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thank you so much 2 my dear friend, Sierra Frost, a woman who inspires me greatly. when i met Sierra a couple of years back in Costa Rica, she was the first woman i'd ever witnessed speaking vulnerably and honestly about suicide/suicidal ideation-- particularly within her own life experiences recovering from abuse/complex trauma. i was so relieved to not feel alone. how often do we tuck these thoughts and feelings away because of shame, or because we do not have adequate support or compassionate understanding on the way to recovering from trauma? 

shout~out also to the both of us 4 continuing 2 choose life!! #miracles

... my emotional pain was so great in my 20's that it seemed impossible to keep living sometimes. yet, i remained a "high functioning" student and employee, because that is what America (my conditioning) asked of me.

in my late 20's, and through my 36th year, i lived abroad practically full-time, an experience that allowed me to richly convene with nature's slowed down, though sometimes stormy (!) natural flow. i floated in the ocean for hours on end if that's what i needed. i reclaimed my personal space and a need for long periods of quiet, which has been a necessity as an introverted psychic and creatrixx. during these years abroad, i also grew close to the wisdom of medicine women from various cultures, including the Sangoma tradition of South Africa and Guatemala's Mayans-- words fall short insofar as how i was impacted by this all.

omg!! anyway!! Sierra remains my go-to resource as an educator on the topics of mental health, PTSD/CPTSD, and trauma recovery. her level of honesty about her own life and personal healing journey is exquisite, refreshing, and has undoubtedly given me permission to exercise more trust in my book-writing + speaking up.

please be invited to peep Sierra's offerings and website https://www.speakwithsierra.com/.

+ + + listen to the podcast Sierra invited me to be a part of a few months back while i was in Bangkok, Thailand. Sierra is especially wonderful at facilitating open conversations, uninterrupted listening, and threads through such excellent education in her podcast episodes. 

here is a LINK to my conversation with Sierra, 

which launched just yesterday.

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"This is one of the most FUN episodes so far. Kelly isn't on FB, but she is an INCREDIBLE artist and you can hear it in her voice and animation throughout this recording. In this episode, Kelly and Sierra explore what recovery really looks like, even if you don't identify with the word. They explore what chronic trauma does from childhood and the skills or ideas we might think we 'should' have as adults. They talk about community and how we truly show up for each other, as well as why healthy relationships are challenging after trauma. Kelly shares about performance art, why creativity is so important to the recovery process, and what differences she's experienced doing this work in different countries." --Sierra

~ kelly ~

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🌸🌹support the artistry HERE 🌹🌸

new/mind/ritualz (movement 11)

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welcome to my #DIY #lofi #cute personal blog, a space where i loyally archive my body of artwork, as well as interviews with artists n more. what u will experience below is a presentation of new/mind/ritualz (movement 11,) a performance art project i continue to unfold. ~kelly~

foto: Jen Brown

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kelly shaw willman's, new/mind/ritualz, is a 56-movement performance art piece released one movement at a time until complete. some movements are open to the public, while others are documented in a more private setting by a single collaborator or altogether solo. as is true of performance art, the artist herself is the primary medium.

the project's title alludes to a new mind space coming forth for the artist, a rebirth (rebirthing) of sorts, but before the wholeness of this rebirth is embodied again & again & again & again & again & again, a little storytelling (from/of the past) weaves thru sometimes. 

new/mind/ritualz ultimately explores memories, demonstrates moments of growth in the present, and invokes rituals of healing + action for now n in the future.

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my Artist's Statement for 

n/m/r (movement 11) up on 

Alexandra Arts (UK)

read about the event on ART 511 MAG: 

"From Manchester to NYC: 

Pankhurst in the Park Salon"

~ excerpt from the full article, written by Katie Cerone ~ (link above) ~ "Kelly Shaw Willman, self-proclaimed Alien-bruja, shamaness, mental-health advocate and Goddess in the flesh, oiled the stages for her equally pearlescent-fluorescent art comrades ULTRACULTURAL OTHERS with a piece from her ongoing series ongoing new/mind/ritualiz. Shaw birthed '111 therapies: phase 2, Movement 11' somewhat quietly four months ago while living in Nicaragua before showcasing the durational piece at our Tuesday night salon (and a short version during EMINENT DOMAIN in July). Part of the development of her own personal feminism, her piece is a response to the artist’s recent spell living in Costa Rica, a vocal witness to the effect of 'machismo’s rampant dysfunction' and sex tourism. Her piece is inspired partially by Maureen Murdock’s book, The Heroine’s Journey, and mines her own shadow side in a symbolic 'descent' into the dark wilderness of her ancestral pain and trauma.

Where 'honey-laced confidence-meets-vulnerability,' her piece involved ample amounts of gold glitter and honey in the raw, poured liberally on her naked body in a quiet ritual that felt necessarily somber, angelic and otherworldly. An invocation to 'childhood/inner-child juju,' says Kelly, and the artist waxes poetic about the plasticine castle aesthetics of 80s and 90s consumer culture. As a feeling, an aesthetic, or milieu — into adulthood, for Shaw it doubles as an aura of protection. 'I have a personalized spiritual practice (of protection) in which I fiercely visualize myself surrounded by cocoon-shaped energy that is always pastel-hued; it is immensely soothing to me.' Kelly’s performance floor, surrounded by a floor-installation comprised of a collection of handmade beaded pieces, art-items-as-talismans, unframed photographs of prior performance work and creamy, dreamy childhood baubles.

Movement 11, which extended in length as it shifted from the energetic raucous of EMINENT DOMAIN’s huge crowds to the intimacy of the Pankhurst Salon, was a live ritual performed with a cutting board, knife, oranges, garlic bulbs, glitter, small tinctures of colored water, honey, feathers, corn kernels, bubbles, and ribbon for a cord-cutting spell. Kelly rebirthed herself as a glittering gold, naked, bootylicious Goddess with statuesque presence, her round lady lumps glistening with honey and gold to surely conjure about two of Shaw’s primary Saints — Yemaya and Ochun, Yoruban Goddesses of the Sacred Waters, the pleasures of the flesh, sweet honey and the Source. Ocean and Rivers are the dominion of Yemaya and Ochun as well as the beds of lovers and the eternal dance of soulmates and twin flames."

listen here to the soundcloud-soundscape i co-created with Steve Narvaez for 

n/m/r #11

learn more about EMINENT DOMAIN

click here for kelly shaw willman's personal archive of new/mind/ritualz

PERFORMANCE DATE: 

SEPTEMBER 11, 2018

LOCATION: 

MOTHERSHIP NYC'S SALON in BROOKLYN, NY

video footage/credit: Lotte Karlsen

video footage/credit: Lotte Karlsen

foto: Jen Brown

foto: Lotte Karlsen

foto: Lotte Karlsen

foto: Lotte Karlsen

foto: Lotte Karlsen

foto: Jen Brown

foto: Lotte Karlsen

foto: Lotte Karlsen

post-performance foto: Lotte Karlsen

post-performance foto: Jen Brown

bb boi Kali n his Mama, Katie Cercone

foto: Jen Brown

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+ mi$c ~ p.s. ~ vibez +

... "i yield my sword of light ... i send love 2 my enemies & hope that they prosper. you cannot hurt me, i can only be healed." ~Princess Nokia

foto: Jen Brown

foto: Jen Brown

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a few notes on my book writing

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"my book is personal storytelling ~ 

this storytelling is as art-centered as possible-- i pull from my body of creative concepts + share my performance art imagery as it aligns with my words.   

i also discuss my recovery related to (living with) Complex PTSD, the healing of intergenerational trauma, my path as a pattern-breaker, & more. 

... hope is often the thread, & beauty always winz, but a bitch is also getting hella real & a lil ratchet, which i acknowledge is an approach that won't be 4 everyone."
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“The speaking will get easier and easier.
And you will find you have fallen in love
with your own vision ... And you will lose
some friends and lovers, and realize you don’t
miss them. And new ones will find you and
cherish you. And at last you’ll know 

with surpassing certainty that only one
thing is more frightening than speaking your
truth. And that is not speaking.” -Audre Lorde

** “I want to get to that place where

I don’t have the strength to 

hide anything.” -Bobbi Jene

** “In understanding your past, you
give your present and future, a
chance.” -Chani Nicholas

** “Forbidden anger, women could find no 

voice in which publicly to complain; 

they took refuge in depression.”
-Carolyn Heilbrun

** “Telling your story is a part
of thriving.” -Reverend Saundra Porter Thomas

** "Shame dies when stories are told in safe places." 

-Ann Voskamp

** "Sharing our stories is a form of self-care. When we see ourselves in each other we open a gateway of permission to feel less alone, less vulnerable, more fortified, more free." -Rachel Cargle

** "To cancel generational curses, stop keeping family secrets hidden." -Stanley Carter

** “If you are silent about your pain, 

they will kill you and say you enjoyed it.” 

-Zora Neale Hurston

** "Gentle reminder: When you are not verbalizing it,

you're storing it. Speak your truth." -@sistersvillage

** “We can transform silence into language 

and action.” -Audre Lorde

** “Check in with the ways that you
justify changing the truth to protect
others’ feelings, or more accurately,
to protect others’ feelings about you.” 
-The Hoodwitch

** "You're a victim until you're able to 

articulate your victimhood-

and then you're a threat." -James Baldwin

** “... radical forgiveness permits you to
do some internal reflection, remove the
victimization, feel the feels, and reveal
to heal.” @amberthealchemist

** “Once you become aware, 

you become responsible.”
-Iyanla

personal concept:

i don’t need to start over;
i need to speak up.

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diary of a meltdown has been forming for some time-- since shortly before my 35th birthday in July 2017. in February of 2018, i gave the project its working title-- i also began to collect and organize focused research. in late April of this same year, i conducted two pertinent interviews for the project too ~ all shortly after i got my hands on a treasure of an ETHNOGRAPHY about the relationships between
foreign women with the local men of Puerto Viejo,
Costa Rica, the place i'd called home the last 3 years.
holy shit, did the light bulbs start to go off--
i had the framework for what i'd experienced; there was
compassionate scientific data that was helping me to
understand the experience i'd personally had in the last
year+ in an abusive relationship.

peep me on INSTAGRAM for creative updates along the way.
💝

Kali Ma Procession

READ ABOUT OUR KALI MA PROCESSION IN THAILAND: https://creatrixmag.com/when-god-was-not-only-female-but-black/

CREATRIX MAG: silverfish

i am so excited 2 team up with the beautiful artists of CREATRIX MAGAZINE!! read my poem published to their forum-- silverfish.

this poem is very cancerian for its dreamy memory richness. often, my realm of dreaming is so very intertwined with the serene & shamanic experiences of my daily (waking) life, which u may see/feel both in my poetry & performance art. 

thank you, Katie Cercone & Jana Astanov. 🐾

~ image: words laid upon a Marissa Arterberry Oya inspired watercolor ~

#CREATRIX #CREATRIXMAG #CREATRIXCULT #sisterhood #therealest #womenartists 

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Artist's Statement

kelly shaw nyala (née Willman) is an experimental/outsider performance artist. as a performance artist, she blends sound, installation, & ritual- she gravitates towards sites in nature.

her largest project to date, new/mind/ritualz, launched in the spring of 2014; it is a 56-movement performance art offering released one movement at a time. n/m/r ultimately explores memories, demonstrates moments of personal growth in the present, & invokes rituals of healing + action for the collective future.

 

with deep listening & humbled permission as the foundation, the artist navigates ongoing intimate conversations with womxn creatives, medicine women, Indigenous elders, social justice voices, & trauma survivors, resulting in art material that threads itself throughout new/mind/ritualz.

 

kelly praises Gawd/Gawde$$ as Black & Femme- an honoring that appears in her every work. she expresses rich relationships to Oshun, Yemaya, Oya, Mami Wata, & prepares to spend time with women in Afrika. in addition to a daily art practice, an Afrikan-rich spiritual practice inspires her deeply.

 

kelly identifies as an empath + introvert, a feminist, bruja, reinita, bad bitch, homebody, poet, writer, rapper, beadworker, a practiced shadow worker, mental wellness advocate, generational trauma pattern breaker, an anti-rape activist, independent researcher, & an experiential voice on recovery with Complex PTSD.

 

the artist's work has been highlighted on The Global Fund for Women's blog, Alexandra Arts, ART 511 Magazine, & CREATRIX Magazine. she was recently a part of EMINENT DOMAIN, an intersectional feminist explosion held in the art district of NYC's Chelsea at the former Robert Miller Gallery.

 

kelly was raised among the cornfields of Eastern Iowa, & has lived in Brooklyn, Costa Rica, Thailand, & Philly.

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projects:

~ new/mind/ritualz as on going.

~ book: working title, diary of a meltdown. creative writing that is personal, pastel-infused, & intermittently research-driven.

~ post production: debut short film, we were bb armadillos, a DIY + lofi expression that safely encapsulates the full-bodied emotionality of the human experience whilst highlighting the artist's complicated cord-cutting from the Caribbean of Costa Rica.

~ kelly's golden rose: my one-woman art biz featuring beaded adornment, zines, art prints, & more.

~ brewing: my debut EP releases as audio, then becomes a visual album (!) ~ upcoming: participation in Emomé Art Festival in Togo, West Africa (2023) ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ (sacred beingness) * i am in a self-loving relationship with me & me- i reclaim this relationship as my priority. * i reclaim my right to self-heal, to be the sweetest mother to myself. * there is nothing wrong with me. (repeat often.) i reclaim & treasure my humanness. * i reclaim my right to understand & choose healthy relationships with fellow humans- these bonds are rich, trustworthy, & lasting/sustainable. * i reclaim my right to an inner-circle & an abundance of solitude. intimacy is gorgeous medicine sometimes- so is my intentionally orchestrated alone-time. * i reclaim my ancestor's wisdom by coming back to the Earth & living more simply, quietly. time spent in nature is always a solution. * i am defining my personal feminism. i reclaim my right to invent my own way. * i dismantle patriarchal conditioning, shame. by reclaiming my personal power & growing my voice, i encourage the collective, namely fellow women, to do so too- this is work from the inside out, an ongoing practice. * i claim my right (my consent) to be seen & experienced as an artist. it is your choice to view (or not) my work- my creative intention is not one of imposition. * i embody & deny no part of my descent ... the exploration of all shadows. i do not hesitate to speak about my sadness & rage, which is real, but not constant. i therefore reclaim my right to be whole, not just shiny & performative to please or peace-keep.

* i trust myself more & more & more.

* i am ultimately RISEN into my divine feminine- on my own terms & in my own time. i accept that i may waiver. when i waiver, i bathe in honey-rivers & pastel-oceans ... i reach to a trusted gal-pal.

* i speak to the injustice i see in the world, not as a graceful expert, but as a human who is learning. i protect marginalized peoples & promote equality within all cultures. * i continue to exercise forgiveness of myself & others- this practice is on-going. i acknowledge my ability to make better choices now vs. then. * i live in JOY as often as possible. in living joyfully, my inner-child is incredibly active. i create stability for myself & i self-care voraciously- it's an unapologetic priority.

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influences/interests:

Audre Lorde, Reverend Saundra Porter Thomas, Irma Kaye Sawyer, Clarissa Pinkola Estés, Lorine Niedecker, Joni Mitchell, Nina Simone, Erykah Badu, Miss Lauryn Hill, Missy Elliot, Angel Haze, Alewya, FKA Twigs, Tyler the Creator, Kendrick Lamar, J. Cole, 6lack, Erik Schoster, Steve Narvaez, BLK ZEN, BigChief Demond Melancon, Thich Nhat Hanh, Ana Mendieta, Yayoi Kusama, Yoko Ono, Sage Stargate, N3VLYNNN, Raisa Flowers, Arhia Kohlmoos and each of her sisters, Beth Breese, Marissa Arterberry, Shay DeGrandis, October Abel, Sierra Frost, Ashley Hess, Tarana Burke, Gogo Ekhaya, Gogo Thule, Indigenous/Tribal Cultures (particularly the wisdom of elder womxn,) bitchcraft, ghetto brujas, dreamwork, non-traditional yoga & meditation approaches, Shamanism, animal medicine, darkhorse juju, enchantress juju, ice queens, the ocean, sea creatures, floating, personal space, personal power as reclaimed & forever intact, privacy, quiet, discernment, glitter, legacy, loyalty, pitbulls

concepts:

holyhoney

honey-meets-fire

ratchet-grace

*circle of protection*

©: kelly shaw nyala, 2019-forever

 

SUPPORT the ARTIST 🍓🍓🍓

kelly shaw nyala by Megan Murray
for new/mind/ritualz

kelly shaw nyala by Statia Grossman

EMINENT DOMAIN

i truly cannot believe it's been nearly a year since my sweetest career highlight to date.

EMINENT DOMAIN was off the chain. what an honor. 

shoutout to all the lovely weaving that's been happening since. 

i really treasure my continued friendship-development with thee ART FAM who put the show together. Katie Cercone & Lotte Karlsen (Alexandra Arts) mean a lot to me as art sisters-- their individual careers are incredible living examples of what's possible on this path. so are their collaborations.

🎀 next level slay. slay in your own way. 🎀

both Katie & Lotte have been hella open-hearted with me about their lives. 

real talk. 

full-faceted.

accepting. caring.

this kinda connection is so refreshing to me, & a main reason i really value their presences in my life. 

+ + SCOTTO MYKLEBUST: gracias!! + +

on another personal note, this show was special for me, cuz it was so close to my birthday!!

my arrival to NYC @ the time of EMINENT DOMAIN also marked the closing of my chapter living in Central America, which felt significant.

... fresh offa plane from Nicaragua for this show ... 

intense happenings in Nica's government-- it was a whole thing just to show up @ the airport enroute to NYC ~

~ ~ ~ moving thru security checkpoints @ 4 in the morning w/ dude soldiers & guns.

uuuuufff.

on a lovely note, tho, peep an excellent recap article about the show thru ART 511 mag: CLICK HERE.

for the video recap: WATCH HERE