a gentle xxo on Valentine's: love, kelly

for your *feels* : : : : a playlist gift if you plz-

click here for your listening pleasure

(lmk if you listen.) 💘

it’s not about being right. 

truly. 

from my heart, 

which is a fat heart ~ ~ ~ ~ 

~ it’s not about being right.

it’s about having a voice, a story ~ 

~ ~ ~ ~ a story shared in safe & appropriate spaces … 

that is heard. 

seen. 

believed.

~ witnessing each other is medicine for the womxn i am close with-

it’s an embodied ritual ~ ~ ~ ~ an act of dispelling & reclaiming. 

((& sometimes … plain surviving.))

{ { may we retire the shaming that comes thru harmful words. } } 

{ { may we retire harmful manipulations of each other’s emotions & our own. } } 

{ { may we retire harmful action & harmful inaction. } }

{ { may we retire telling each other who we are. } }

~ ~ ~ ~ mirror mirror on the wall ~ ~ ~ ~

guess what?!! ... ily, bitch!! ...

💧💝💞💝💞💧💧💝💞💝💞💧💧💝💞💝💞💧

… FLOHIO on repeat for me. 

i cannot find the lyrics as published online, but the part i am reciting like a mantra … at least the way i’m hearing it is: “You said you’d be my good potion, baby, I’M MY MEDICINE!!” ... who??!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

… and how about the femme elder’s voice @ the end of this SZA song?

“ … Cause I feel the same way, if you don't like me, you don't have to fool with me … But you don't have to talk about me or treat me mean … I don't have to treat you mean … I just stay out of your way … That's the way you work that one.”

~ everything ~

# happy valentines’ day #      

i am grateful 2 have my life back. 

i am also grateful for the space that is art eternal-

today, art is a space-place where i can complete my sentences.

.. give thanks ..

AI gifts are from Or Nah, Xmas 2022

love is it.

READ + VIEW THE ESSENCE MAGAZINE 

ARTICLE wit NIECY NASH & JESSICA BETTS HERE. 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

LOVE IS IT. 

yesterday, in the throes of feeling some deep two-week long sadness about the overall state of my life, i found a glimmer of hope and a lot of valdiation because of Niecy Nash and Jessica Betts. 

i went down the rabbit hole in an effort to recollect my own beliefs about love. 

{{ i deserve it. you deserve it. we already know. }} 

sssooooooooo, Niecy Nash and her wife, Jessica Betts, graced the cover of Essence Magazine as the first ever same sex couple. #History #Herstory

 

beautiful. amazing. beyond. 

my writing onward will be concise and simple. i will share some nuggets about what struck me most, and please know that you in all your readerly awesomeness can form deeper webs of meaning + understanding about it all- OR!! maybe you'll conduct your own research in a quiet moment so as to rekindle what is real: love's possibilities are immense, simply. 

i am openly monogamous, yet do not judge other relationships or relationship identities that span beyond this more traditional personal preference. as far as i can tell from their language however, Niecy and Jessica are each very loyal to each other, and this is a mutually important thread for them. i also loved Niecy's expression about how she actually does better in a marriage, where she is accountable to one person, in depth ... and in her vast sexual glory!! lately, i have reflected for my own self that the richest expression of my sensuality is safely contained (so as to *not* be contained!!) in a monogamous relationship where it is safe to grow. 

and safety. safety is so important.  

emotional safety. mental safety. 

how-you-use-your-time safety. 

safety to pursue your passions.

safety to have conversations about what is 

and maybe is not working ~ ~ ~ ~

feeling safe to be your full self, and being respected for the whole of your stories ... as well as your hopeful efforts for betterment as a being ...

"I absolutely feel fully seen," Betts noted. "I feel like all of me is accepted. All of me is loved— and not just the part that I present, but the part that I don't necessarily show to everyone else." 

"I feel like the love that I receive from her is custom, as opposed to off the rack. I feel like the assignment happened in the spirit realm before we ever knew about it," explained Nash, who agreed that Betts truly sees her for who she is.

"It's to be accepted for the truth of who you are, all the way around, good, bad or indifferent," she continued. "It's where someone sees your past, your pain, your bullet holes, your stab wounds, whatever you got in a bag over your shoulder when you show up, and they say, 'I see it all, and I still love and receive you.'" 

*sigh* 

... equally beautiful as the above quotes is Niecy speaking about how she prayed for someone to fill in her cracks- not to be mistaken with "making her whole," but someone who really and truly complimented her. 

... equally beautiful as the above quotes is Niecy and Jessica speaking to the importance of individual and couple's therapy, so that they are present and active in their own lives and in each other's in an adequate way. it was clarified by Betts that their individual self-love practices come first, and it's an incredibly luscious icing atop the cake (my words!!) that Niecy and Jessica are naturally compatible and genuinely enjoy spending time together. in fact, if a 25th hour existed in the day, Niecy and Jessica admit they'd be in it together. ... and if other lifetimes indeed exist (i believe so) then their prayer is to find each other again and again.

issa natural supernatural compatibility, and i won't stop believing ~ ~ ~ ~

thank you, Niecy and Jessica, for your presence, and for believing that even after love breaks you, it is possible to pick yourself back up, and seek the same thing that caused your crumble: LOVE. 

freaking LOVE. 

PEOPLE MAGAZINE REFERENCE: READ HERE

NPR REFERENCE: READ HERE

love, kelly    

(a never-ending hopeful for my own True Love 

and the life of a wife)

- - - -

 "tears so big like a tsunami."

-Lil Wayne

kelly shaw nyala x Michael Preston

💧

💧

*girlqueen*

LISTEN HERE ON SOUNDCLOUD

to *girlqueen*

~ CLICK on a performance art image

(below) to view it as a

larger/clearer slideshow ~

💟

 

    J. Cole recently said something along the lines of, 

"You can wait forever, and the inspo might never come."

JUST DO IT.

(on some Nike $hit.)

and so, it's more about practicing your craft, whether the creative result comes out pristinely each time or not- this build-up of practice (exercising your artist's born gifts and skills) 

adds-the-fok-up on 

the path of one's artistry, or ...

... a steadfast investment of time and energy, as

heart-driven / cutely "mad scientist" / loyal asf,

i fully believe yields results / successes before the artist

no longer lives in flesh ...

< ~ successes on your own terms ~ >

(it must work this way, i humbly and firmly assert.)

             

i learn over and over the importance of *dailiness,* 

meaning presence in the seemingly mundane beauty 

(and sometimes non-beauty)

of making your day ...

... making your food.

making conversation with friends.

not making conversation with friends-

a necessity if you're introverted or highly sensitive.

... making your work ...

making and adhering to a sensible sleep schedule when you can.

caring for your pet or kiddos.

attending an outing/event in art's name ...

ALL. THE. BTS. 

(behind the scenes)

your art practice is part of this dailiness too, obvi.

~ (insert your own organization of how this flow flows for you) ~

each day may differ.

… as someone who has enjoyed self-designed sparkling adventure much of her life, amid an undeniable shit ton of emotional pain too, i have come to realize as i navigate my late 30’s, that there is something to be said for more groundedness, for more surrender to the simple tasks in our daily lives that keep us level-headed, fed, passionate, and content. 

anyway!! i cannot believe that i’ve been sitting on this song for a few months. i don’t necessarily have a good reason why, except that i anticipated writing a huge article to go widdit. i created a Gmail folder for this *girlqueen* article that contained eighteen different resources i intended to reference.

this morning, i deleted it all. 

too much brain power required. 

for now.

let the heart speak. 

let the music fill yuh.

take in the images if you plz.

note to self: keep it simple,

because sometimes you need to.

the fuller story is that i’m working on an EP that debuts around my bday in July. my dear friend, Steve Narvaez, is behind the original beats and teacher-duty, and our mutual wizard-pal, BLK ZEN, helps us in the studio to record vocals and add, as Steve says, “the bells and whistles.” 

~ dream team much? ~

so, the second song of my EP is called *girlqueen,* and the lyrics (EXPLICIT) are below. (to hear *snowflake,* the first song of my not yet titled EP, click HERE.) this second song came through so quickly, and i giggled quite a bit as it wrote itself. like Cardi B’s, WAP, there is shameless rapping about one’s own body. the female body- the body/being most often objectified in raps by males. 

in fifteen+ years of performance artistry, 

and newly rap, 

reclamation is always at play.

note: this *girlqueen* article is part of a larger body of work called, "new/mind/ritualz." *girlqueen* is movement #14 of 56 yet unfolding. to engage with my artist's statement and archive for new/mind/ritualz, CLICK HERE.

this is the last sneak peek of songs before the full EP launches.

LISTEN HERE ON SOUNDCLOUD!!

*girlqueen* is an original song x kelly shaw nyala, aka: reinita sweet snake

// made in Brooklyn, March 2021 //

beat + production + rad support in artistry’s name x STEVE NARVAEZ

additional recording + production x BLK ZEN of elevensixtysix

**lyrics**

"i'm the kind of girl that you fall in love with/

you like these homegrown tits n my fat pussy lips, yeh/

i'm the kinda girl that you fall in love with/

got a gem 4 a brain & a past filled wit pain/

but i gained a joy phase & a whole lotta praise for/

a heart healed & sealed wit a kiss in the rain/

& i reign a queendom come, yuh betta not play dumb/

i werked too hard to stay alive but a miracle survive/

n ima thrive yeh, ima thrive yeh, ima thrive/

even if u ain't ride or die/

i'm the kinda girl that you fall in love with/

gotta fat ass heart, my imagination smart/

i'm the ~ i'm the kinda girl blow the snow round the globe/

pull up sweeter in the grove/

honey suckle diamond buckle/

gimme peace, gimme shelter/

no more foking helter skelter/

cuz i'm the kinda girl that you fall in love with/

i deserve the whole goal, lil baby & some gold/

break the mold i been told i smell like a rose/

pussy sweeter lil heater watch the meter grow hawt/

my juicy waterfall overflow the whole lot/

i'm the royal doll ball/

erybody dancin y'all erybody dancin y'all/

erybody thriving, y'all/

ima thrive, yeh ... ima thrive, yeh ... /

ima thrive even if you ain't ride or die."

photos of the artist were taken in very late Winter becoming early Spring by Olivia Oh in Queens, NY. i felt like i was coming out of a snowy funk, and was able to recalibrate myself both socially and creatively in this shoot. this shoot also happened around the time i was writing *girlqueen,* so it feels appropriate to house everything here together, images wit sound. 

find Olivia’s work HERE and HERE.

💟

*snowflake*

❅ ❆ ❅ ❆ ❅ ❆ ❅ ❆ ❅

*snowflake* on CREATRIX

*snowflake* on SOUNDCLOUD

❄   ❄   ❄   ❄

lil paw$

thank u kindly 2 Creatrix Magazine 

4 publishing "lil paw$." 

https://creatrixmag.com/lil-paw/

"Tuning into the waning beauty and wisdom of the Moon/La Luna 🌚💜 @kelly.shaw.nyala shares with us 3 poems following dreamscapes, heartaches and cycles of the divine female human body ..."

🌴 🌴 🌴 🌴

💚 💙 💚

💙

.. CHURCH O* launched ..

💖 💖 💖 💖

**engage with the full project HERE**

"CHURCH OF THE CELIBATE WHORE is a collaboration, coversation and rhymed constellation between artists Katie Cercone “Or Nah” and kelly shaw nyala. This piece is a call to action for all womxn and femme-identified folks to start pouring love into ourselves, establishing healthy boundaries and rising in our dominion as Brujas at the Gates of the Great Mystery. CHURCH O* CELEBATE Whore is an art piece about saying no to sex when you really want love, worshipping at your own temple; cleansing and healing our energetic yoni, preparing for sacred marriage ..."

"For the CHURCH 0* release in Creatrix Mag (since taken down on Creatrix: noted on 2.2.2022) we not only share our full-bodied conversation about the 10-Tenets of WHOREFUL CELIBACY, we drop a sweet new rhyme. In the text that follows we have made an effort to contextualize the context of WHOREFUL CELIBACY, reflecting on our parallel healing journeys as beasts becoming human through the transcultural looking glass of various wisdom traditions. We also offer some tools, resources and scholarship that we hope will help you to situate this work in ways that feel vital, valid and relevant to your lived experience."

creativity + sanity + dignity

thank you to CREATRIX MAG 4 the 
feature today.

READ me HERE: 

💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧

Jana Astanov sez ~ ~ ~ 
"Grateful for the glitter ✨ 
& bubbles 💕💦 
& this message of hope from kelly. 🦋💐 

As we are trying to stay strong and resilient, @creatrixmag asked some of our friends and collaborators how they are coping with the current situation. Today, Kelly Shaw Nyala shares her insights: 'i find that quarantine is not a challenge for me, because i’ve been curating a quiet lifestyle for my entire adulthood. i am learning to surrender to rest a bit better too, which provides space for my vivid visions and nighttime dreams to bring me scenes + information about my ancestors, present relationships, and more. my practice itself is always happening– it’s just that i feel myself moving into a more disciplined space widdit. alas, the unfolding. (i also blow bubbles and burn a lot of candles in the evenings– both activities are romantic to me.')"

new/mind/ritualz (movements 12 and 13)

ᗐ who yer mami now? ᗐ 

in the early Winter of 2019, i was preparing to visit Thailand. i had been staying in my homestate of Iowa for 6 months preceding my SE Asia departure-- a lil chunk of time that served as my 1st phase of reacclimation to the U.S. after many years living hella simply in Costa Rica.

the photos you see below are still images from my ongoing performance art project, "new/mind/ritualz." my friend and collaborator, Megan Murray, is behind the cam for this particular movement, #12 of 56.  

some of the images from the shoot feel best shared as cropped (eagle-eyed) &/or given some *etheral blur.* some of the images are powerful all on their own with only Megan's making & editing present.

there are times when i feel compelled to write fatty essays bout my artistry n the particular reasons a shoot produces the work it produces-- i could talk a lot about the intentions~notes~prep going into a new work n the subsequent recuperation~integration phases thereafter. with new/mind/ritualz 12, however, i offer some experimental writing beneath each image as a simplified story-spell 4 u$.

ᗐ ᗐ ᗐ ᗐ

about new/mind/ritualz: "the project's title alludes to a new mind space coming forth for the artist, a rebirth (rebirthing) of sorts. before the wholeness of this rebirth is embodied again & again & again & again & again & again, a little storytelling (from/of the past) weaves thru sometimes."

here is my artist's statement for new/mind/ritualz.

here is the archive for new/mind/ritualz.

~ below is new/mind/ritualz 

(movement 12) ~

a turquoise orca shines thru the time i lost it @ 19. didn't know how to process the first. glad i got away the 2nd. also, one time i was stalked in New Mexico n the waiter called the cops on the guy-- thank u 4 that. glad i spoke up 4 myself. glad i speak up 4 myself better n more promptly now-- an ongoing practice that's ratchet in moments n i don't even care how it unsettle an extra kind lightbeam bitch. true not true. 

☆

i was born to do the shadow work as much as i was born to add glitter bursts to storm-scenes @ the pond. 3-4 frog species native to Iowa sing there all nite-- spring/summer/retro$pect. i much prefer animal songs to city songs. no shade intended, jussa farmgirl pref that keeps peace inside my ribs-- 
my ancestors knew all this.
nature.
☆

performance artistry is so many things. 
visibility. 
n when u don't feel visible 4 a season or 2+, 
how do you u "performance art?" ᐊ ᐊ ᐊ ᐊ u can still get a capture wit eyes down so as to shield a bit thee inner-movement, which is vulnerable to let aurically live when u feel 
super recuperative n xtra quiet. 

(more snail juju.) 
(guiltless periods of rest.)
☆

the heart-soul-mind juices itself wit golden-glean more often. royalty is u n u know 4 sure now, so it all hits less hard n usually u will not have to go to the hospital, but instead the woods or water to 
have sum laughs.

{talk to fawns. trust the wildflowers. 
peep Oya in the wind.}
☆

performance art is messages wit meaning in the art~spirit~unspoken realms ~

~ trance state/dreamscape ... 

... said messages r often revealed 2 u b4 u knew u knew n now u know, which sometimes has lil aftershock effects 4 the unanticipated deliverance of what remained mostly unconscious-- it can feel a bit pinched (reference to the emotional realm) when it hit the 1st time$-- this is no fault of yours, dear artista, nor the way it always comes. there is more honey now.

☆




open field. plantains. 
rainforest rain.
toad smooches.
yung grrrl. reinita.
strawberry jelly.
clothelines in the tropics.
full grown.
homegrown.

never gonna get it--
something-something x Yolandi.
☆

☆

freeze a bitch out if she pretend wit me--
they call me ice kween, 
but imma sweetie.

(werks on raps)

☆



- mine -
☆

☆

🎀 ⚓ 🎀 ⚓ 🎀

Megan Murray, artist & collaborator on
new/mind/ritualz (movement 12)

Megan Murray is a multimedia artist based in Iowa City, Iowa. Her background is in photography, music production, plant science, writing, body and canvas painting. Megan's subject matter is all living things, words, and sound. She appreciates the unintentional magic of cocreative music and art making, as well as the detailed process of audio and visual post production.

🌱 🌲 🌳 🌿 🌳 🌲 🌱

🐚 🐌 🍒 🍭 🍒 🐌 🐚

& here is new/mind/ritualz (movement 13,) which was published to CREATRIX MAG a few months back: READ ME HERE.

-- note: new/mind/ritualz (movement 13) produced about a hundred+ gifs of ritualz upon my bod in a gorgeous oceanic setting in Thailand. i am interested to present said magic gifs (many not yet shared) as a fluid + repetitive loop of imagery-- a video project &/or large-scale projection in a gallery or gallery-like setting-- stay tuned 4 it. major shoutout of thnx 2 dear sis, Or Nah, for documenting movement 13. 

🐬 🐳 🐬 🐳 🐬

-- follow my IG here for updates/art.

-- support my artistry here or here.

🍊🍊🍊🍊, 

kelly shaw nyala

portrait of the artist x Jesse Artavia

~ ~ ~ ~

~ ~ ~ ~ learn more about kelly shaw nyala's art life-- take a peek @ my BIO + ARTIST'S STATEMENT here. 

🍒🍑🍒🍑🍒🍑🍒

fotos x me