Monday, July 18, 2016

in honor of my 34th birthday

little me

foto: Jesse Artavia

i identify as an experimental artist. in the depths of my being, i live for this work. most often, i express myself in abstracted, ritualistic, non-confessional ways.

"inner-beach," shot in Brooklyn
foto: Carlos Ramirez

... what do we sense about each other without giving it all away with our words? 

i love feeling. 
i love seeing into
i love *knowing* without being told.
my womb guides me ~ 
intuition rises.

"new/mind/ritualz," shot in Costa Rica
foto: Statia Grossman

* * *

... lately, i have witnessed a lot of people being very brave. maybe though, it isn't so much about bravery as it is about necessity. the necessity of telling a story that demonstrates realness, triumph, and *hope* for a sweeter future.

in the wake of the Orlando shooting, we speak up about what direction our world needs to move in. 

answer: LOVE. other answers: CONSCIOUSNESS. ACCEPTANCE. RESPECT.

... and since writing these previous mini-paragraphs, there have been bombings at sites of worship ... Alton Sterling, Philandro Castile. more. 

Nina Simone said, "An artist's duty, as far as I believe, is to reflect on the times," and, "If you don't tell people how you feel, you're not going to get anywhere."


"new/mind/ritualz," shot in Costa Rica
foto: Statia Grossman

* * * 

speaking up (through my writing) does not have to mean that i am giving my mystery away. my experimental artistry doesn't have to be compromised. there will always be crevices within my inner-world that are solely mine ~

so sacred.


so shiny.


... filled with quiet things that make me smile to myself, giggle.


to clarify, speaking up about injustice in our world is not something i hesitate about now. however, speaking up about my own personal experiences in a more direct or conventional way is a challenge for me. so, art. 


ritual for Oshun ~ foto: John Pierpont

* * * 

i give thanks for art as a way of life.
i give thanks for art as an outlet.
i give thanks for art as a collaborative platform.


"grunge*quest" collab, Brooklyn
foto: Janna Zagari

and i give a lot of thought to the exploration of a new angle for myself ... perhaps telling stories more directly about my experiences, my healing, my struggles, my/our beauty, our capacity for re-birth. 

video diaries. years of research becoming public. 

vamos a ver.

i am in process. deciding.

foto: Jesse Artavia

* * * 

foto: Jesse Artavia

((( ... the energy of the medicine woman is one of balance. there are two sides. there is the nurturing wisdom-based side that shares healing with others, and there is the private side, which understands that not all recipes are to be divulged. 

i remembered this analogy recently, and it comforted me to know that this life, for me, is truly about balancing the cosmic-alien, highly spiritual, experimental artist self with the gloriously complex and gorgeous human self ...

light ~ dark.


quiet ~ loud.


introverted ~ extroverted.


telling ~ non-telling.

... and all the fluffy, funky, messy, 
sweet + wonderful in-between's. )))

* * * 

foto: Jesse Artavia

as aforementioned, there are things happening in the world that cause great unrest in my spirit: young black men dying at the hands of atrocious continued injustices, centuries of warfare still unraveling, violence against women ... Mother Earth's tender fight to be healthy ... and freaking American politics. 

... and on a personal level, i am going through a repeat phase of needing much hermitude. my thoughts, feelings, and needs deepen. being in public rarely makes sense, nor does being accessible for intimacy, nightlife ... 

this is a very personal time. 
spiritually, i am experiencing a shift.

our world, i am knowing, is gearing up for a shift too.

* * *

it is a strange time for our world ~

it really hurts as a whole, 

but let us not forget magic. friendship. honest and considerate communication. healing. support. speaking up. listening to the stories of others. a depth of connection to a life filled with ritual and nature. simplicity. sparkles. kittens. strawberries. flowers. chocolate. dancing. love letters. 

THE BIG LIFE.

~ ~ ~ 

foto: Statia Grossman

foto: Statia Grossman

the choice to live in Costa Rica has allowed me much more space for interpersonal healing. when i recently moved to the Caribbean side after years of mini pilgrimages here, things really ... got special ... it's about the land, mostly. my connection to her.

from my "new/mind/ritualz" project
foto: Statia Grossman

i have been working on this birthday-inspired article for over a month. it flowed sometimes, i erased large angry chunks, and now i give it to you, in its well-intended form. 

xo,

kelly

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